On October 4th, I turned 19. As weird as it sounds, I truly don’t feel 19. I feel like I should maybe be turning about 12 and enjoying my 6th grade year. Time always goes by so, so fast that I wonder what time is actually supposed to feel like. I am pretty sure that its normal pace is just fast because it hardly ever feels slow. As I was thinking about how long I have been on this Earth, I began to reflect on my life. As crazy as it sounds, I began to ask myself if I had done enough. So far, have I done enough for God’s glory? Have I done enough in serving him?
This is also a question I have been asking myself pretty frequently this year as I have become more in charge of what I am involved with, who I hang out with, and what I do with this year that God has given me. I felt the Lord telling me that I have been thinking about this question all wrong. It is not about what I have done, it is about what the Lord is doing through me. He is teaching me more and more to seek his guidance in every action. He sets up my schedule and my appointments. I just have to listen to him.
God also reminded me that if I think this way, I am forgetting about the salvation I have through Jesus. I can’t earn his love. He already loves me through nothing that I have done. Thank goodness because I will never be able to do enough. In Christ, I have the freedom to relax and not worry about everything I do because He is enough. I simply have to rest in his love.
Rest – that is something else I have been thinking a lot about. In my birthday reflection, I felt God telling me that my schedule was very full with lots of awesome activities he had lined up for me in this wonderful country. It was necessary that I stop adding things on my plate because in His word, God tells me:
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters. Colossians 3:23
I have to remember that I am human, and it is impossible for me to work at EVERYTHING with all my heart. The Lord will give me discernment on what activities to say yes to and what activities to say no to. As a human, I require rest in order to serve God to the absolute best of my ability.
Rest is never something that I have been good at. My personality is such that I feel guilty when I rest. I feel as if I could be out telling someone about Jesus or volunteering somewhere. I feel as if I am wasting time. However, my personality is also such that I require a fair bit of rest. I am an introverted extrovert, so while I love being with people – it makes me tired. It is important that we know these things about ourselves so we can take care of ourselves.
When thinking about rest, this song by Jamie Grace comes to mind. The chorus says:
Come to me when
You’re weary and
I’ll give you hope when you’re hurting
I’ll give you rest from your burden
This comes straight from Matthew 11:28-30.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden in light.
How wonderful is that?! Jesus is telling us to come to him, and we will I find rest. I shouldn’t feel as if resting is a waste of time because Jesus tells me to do so. God created us with the need to rest. In my rest, I am glorifying God because I am acknowledging that I am human and I am tired. I know there is no way I can make it through this life on my own. I am acknowledging that God is greater and he takes care of me. He gives me rest.
This is a continuous struggle for me. I know I need to rest, but I tend to keep pushing and end up completely exhausted. I am so thankful for the Lord’s grace and how he is teaching me to slow down and glorify him even in my rest. I am genuinely trying to make Sundays a true day of rest. I used to come home after church and scramble to get more things checked off the To-Do list. Now, I am trying to come home, take a nap, and then cuddle up on the couch and watch TV with my family or read a book. I am learning that even in those moments, God can be glorified. It is all about the state of my heart.
So, back to my question of “have I done enough?” God is teaching me that it doesn’t matter how much I do. It may not even what specific activity I am doing. What matters is how I do it. What matters is if I am loving people through every single situation the Lord puts me in and shining the light of Jesus.
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
Whether I am working or resting or whatever I am doing, I will do it for the glory of God!